How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
