sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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