we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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