Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
