i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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