Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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