While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
