Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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