This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
