it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
