It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
