those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
