I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
