I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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