tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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