Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
