I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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