have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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