i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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