she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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