He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
