So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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