just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
