First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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