i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
