there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
