Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
