Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
