Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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(484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0

Replies (82) Good night (6528) Bad night (850)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?

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(603): So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me" (1-603): Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole? http://tfl.nu/54bk

Replies (6) Good night (2928) Bad night (1077)
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(503): View more from Oregon

after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.

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(503): after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success. http://tfl.nu/y8ni

Replies (15) Good night (5323) Bad night (785)
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(956): View more from Texas

It was like little house on the drunk prairie.

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(956): It was like little house on the drunk prairie. http://tfl.nu/6z1y

Replies (3) Good night (3525) Bad night (723)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.

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(918): IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request. http://tfl.nu/53d6

Replies (14) Good night (5348) Bad night (961)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I drank myself into bisexuality again.

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(314): I drank myself into bisexuality again. http://tfl.nu/eg45

Replies (16) Good night (6244) Bad night (1306)
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(773): View more from Illinois

i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

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(773): i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is... http://tfl.nu/4q16

Replies (4) Good night (2545) Bad night (1192)
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(530): View more from California

I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

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(530): I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me. http://tfl.nu/jc9x

Replies (29) Good night (4411) Bad night (1241)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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(717): I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?! http://tfl.nu/77lq

Replies (7) Good night (1091) Bad night (3058)
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(810): View more from Michigan

i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors

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(810): i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors http://tfl.nu/jlfm

Replies (4) Good night (2015) Bad night (957)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.

(517): View more from Michigan

We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by

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(517): Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity. (517): We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by http://tfl.nu/0fvy

Replies (9) Good night (3159) Bad night (975)
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(607): View more from New York

Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?

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(607): Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates? http://tfl.nu/4l3k

Replies (8) Good night (2975) Bad night (672)
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(614): View more from Ohio

i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing

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(614): i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing http://tfl.nu/j284

Replies (12) Good night (966) Bad night (404)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street

(250): View more from British Columbia

It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.

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(250): Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street (250): It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any. http://tfl.nu/mi10

Replies (1) Good night (888) Bad night (463)
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(804): View more from Virginia

That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want

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(804): That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want http://tfl.nu/mjof

Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (233)

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