My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
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Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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