i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
