Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize