i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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