Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
