So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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