I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
