Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
