Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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