We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
