Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
