he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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