so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
