New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
high people should be assigned attendants
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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