belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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