We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
