please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize