it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
