do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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