Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
