Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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