can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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