her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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