I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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