She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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