I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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