She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
