it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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