Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
