Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
