i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
