just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life