omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
