Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
now i know why i became what i already was.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
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I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.