did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
