Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out

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(970): View more from Colorado

The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

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(513): View more from Ohio

She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(571): View more from Virginia

i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days

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(314): View more from Missouri

What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.

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(516): View more from New York

perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection

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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway

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