i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
