you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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