i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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