In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
