:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
