Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
