what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this will be a night to untag.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
