when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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