I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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