did you get engaged???
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
