They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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